Dos Hombres (Two Men) and a Mattress Delivery

I have seen this scenario play out time and time again AND sometimes I have been guilty of it myself; talking louder to someone who doesn't speak the same language. But more about that later. I was taking the trash out last Saturday morning (yes, I was wearing lounge pants) when I heard a delivery truck turn the corner into the neighborhood. But it didn't keep going and in a split second, I thought it stopped nearby and maybe I might be able to meet a stranger. So I run through the garage, through the kitchen and toward the front door and as I dart pass Chris he asks, "Where are you going?" I said, "I think someone across the street is getting a delivery and I am going to go meet a stranger!" And as he was say, "What?" I was out the door. Looked right - no delivery truck. Look left - no delivery truck. Over to the north side of the house.....voilà....a delivery van from Mattress Land. By the time that I got to the van - a pristine white (looked to be about queen size) mattress and box springs wrapped in plastic were being unloaded from the back by two men. The gentleman closest to me had just taken out his handkerchief and was wiping his brow when I extended my hand and started my spiel, "Hi, my name is Donna..." He switched his handkerchief to his other hand and extended his hand. We were shaking hands and he was smiling, but not one word. We just kept shaking hands. Then the gentleman at the other end of the mattress finally said something,"His name is R$&+AU." Of course, I had no idea what he said so I said, "I'm sorry, what is his name?" He moves closer to me and extends his hand to shake my hand and he begins to talk really loud - almost yelling at me, "MY NAME IS ELIA AND HIS NAME IS REFUSE." Huh?? Does he think that because he said it louder and slower that I would understand what he said?? So I think to myself - his name is trash??? Well that can't be right so I slowly and loudly repeat, "REFUSE?" And Elia shakes his heads no. Again, but this time even slower and louder Elia says, "RE FU G IO." Well of course, Refugio. How did I not get that the first time?!?!?! After an awkward pause of silence, I bid them a good day and bounced back across the street to our house.

I walked in the front door and Chris asked me, "Where did you go?" I said, "I went to meet a stranger." Chris: "Dressed like that?" Donna: "Yup." Chris: "Where?" Donna: "Across the street - the people who moved into Jensen's old house was having a mattress delivered so I met the Mattress Land delivery guys." Chris: "What were their names?" Donna: "ELIA AND REFUGIO." Chris: "Why are you yelling?" Donna: "Because the Latino man, Elia, thought that if he talked slower and louder, at me, that I would understand what the other guy's name." Chris: "Did you?" Donna laughs: "Finally, but it was funny because it was the reverse of what you normally see happen. I think he thought I was stupid." Chris: "He probably wondered why you are wearing your candy striped pajamas bottoms, purple flip flops, and a brown fleece zipper jacket."

Come to think of it......I thought I heard him say, Senora es loca en la cabeza (Lady is crazy in the head) as I walked away........LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT BEFORE. (LOL)