Buddha and a Bag of Poo

If you own an animal with long hair, you know it has begun.......shedding season. And our dog, Timmy is no different. So when it gets to the point that the vacuum cleaner cannot keep up with the mountains of hair - it is time to get the dog groomed. Off to the groomers we went for his summer do (the dog crew cut). When we picked him up, we noticed that he had a small lump on his shoulder that wasn't there last summer and since he had a tumor removed from his mouth a couple of years ago - I was concerned. I made an appointment with our vet, Dr. Gregor. You probably already know this, but finding a vet is like finding a dentist, auto mechanic, or hair stylist. Once you find one that you like - you keep them. Dr. Gregor's office is 20 miles away, but I wouldn't trust another vet with Timmy. Just like at the human doctor, we have to wait to see the vet and this is when the funny part of the visit happens. A lady comes in with her dog; a small hairy dog that wasn't memorable, unlike the big beautiful golden retriever who greeted us at the door with his owner. The small hairy dog is there to get groomed or boarded or maybe both - I couldn't really tell. The staff takes the dog back and the owner leaves, or so I thought. About three or four minutes after I thought she left, she came back in and I hear her ask if they had a trash can. One of the girls behind the desk says "yes" and picks up the trash can from under the desk and holds it up. And hair dog owner, says, "Oh, she was nervous in the car and had an accident - can you take this for me?" Staff girl hesitates and I swear I see her shutter and quickly decides this should not go in the under the desk trash can. She takes it from her and goes in the back. What do you think that she gave her to get rid of???? Yup, you guessed it....she literally handed her a sack of dog poo!!! Really?!?!?! I think to myself, "You couldn't take your dog's crap home and put it in your own trash?!?!?!" Shocked - I know that my mouth must have gaped open like a hippo coming up for air. I have never seen anyone walk into a business and ask the person behind the desk to dispose of a sack of poo. And with a slight smile, staff girl takes the sack of poo and goes through the door to the back. Hairy dog owner leaves. Oh, not so quick, she is back for round two. This time she comes back in with some loose tissues and then says, "Do you have some anti-bacterial hand sanitizer I could use?" Shonna, one of the staff ladies, slowly pulls it out with a slight scowl hands it over to hairy dog owner. Three pump of the hand sanitizer and hairy dog owner is gone. Unbelievable.

Timmy gets called into exam room 4 and I am shaking hands with and meeting Justin who, appears to be in his early 20's and, is the vet tech. They give Tim his exam and at first blush - they think it is just lipoma. In non-vet terminology, a fat deposit. But to be sure, they want to take a sample and look at it under the microscope. They take a sample of the tumor, smear the sample on the slide and take it back and put it under the microscope. Less than 15 minutes, back to give us the results.....fat deposit and we just need to watch it. Here, for a few minutes, is where I get on my soap box. Why can a vet run a test and get a result in 15 minutes and when a human goes to the doctor it takes a follow-up appointment to have a biopsy taken, another 1 week to have the results read, another three days before your doctor calls you back with the results??? This is a head scratcher for me. I understand human vs. canine, but medically aren't the disease states pretty much the same??? And if so, why does it take 10 days for humans to get their results.....grrr......one of the many unanswered questions of the universe.

So what did I learn????

1. My maternal grandmother, God rest her soul, was not so kooky when she decided to use a vet for her medical issues as well as her dogs medical issues;

2. My Buddha butt and gut are lipoma (oh, that does sound better) - not fat and;

3. You can hand someone a sack of crap and they will take it.