Peppermints, Pinkie Rings and Pineapple

Finding a stranger rich environment is like finding a honey hole when fishing; when you get a couple of good hits - you keep going back. Where you might ask is my new honey hole??? Model Homes. Sometimes you can get in and out without having to fill out any paperwork, but other times - you only have to give them minimal information to get all the floor plans as well as the guided tour. I found distinct groups touring the homes: the solo's who are tired of renting; the just married's or just pregnant's; the empty-nester's; the just looking's and me.

Recently the kids and I went to two separate Grand Home communities and toured their model homes. At the Enclave @ Emerald Forest, I met Viviana who is the Community Sales Manager. The homes at the Enclave are spacious and prices start in the low $240's. At Jackson Hills, I met Tom who is the Community Sales Manager's assistant. The homes at Jackson Hills are smaller, still roomy and the prices start in the low $190's. The two communities are less than a mile apart, two different cities, two different counties and Viviana and Joe couldn't be more polar opposite; Viviana in her designer shoes and Joe with his pinkie ring.

Both of them were very personable and yet I don't think either one of them heard that I had New Year's resolution to meet a new person everyday. No worries. When Joe gave me the tour, he was sure to point things out in the kitchen, the laundry room and the "hers" (his term) room which was really just an extra bedroom and yet nothing about the "man" (my word) office. But he did tell me about all the recent upgrades that have been recently been made by the builder that is passed along to the customer without cost. Joe's house has free peppermints and he did tell me that he was married with grand kids. When Viviana gave me the same type of tour, she pointed out things like the hardware used for the cabinets and in the bathroom as well as where the outlets were positioned throughout the house. Viviana also gave me the spiel about the upgrades and I should point out that out of the two - she is the only one to have called me back, but no peppermints and no personal information.

Of course, I realize that you don't decide to purchase a house based on peppermints or gathering personal information from the sales people - it's location, location, location and a fresh pineapple platter with a Tom Thumb gift certificate.

Lady Blue Rays and Sammie Louise

I have yet another stranger rich environment- the volleyball gym. Six courts, with games every hour....I was bound to find someone to meet and sure enough - I was right. Our daughter plays every Friday night and practices every Monday night in two different gyms. But I met this stranger at VIP (a volley ball gym) while we were watching the Lady Blue Rays (my daughter's team) play a match and she was sitting in the row in front of me. She had never been to a volleyball game and had not been able to see her granddaughter (who also plays for the Lady Blue Rays) play before because she has really bad knees. For those who have bad knees, the bleachers are low and narrow and it makes it difficult to get in and out- let alone be comfortable for three matches. And I knew all of this before I even met her!! Not knowing the rules of game, she rooted for both teams and periodically she would turn around and ask me, "Was that our team?" I answered, "No, but you go ahead and root for both teams." As the Lady Blue Rays won the first match and the second, she got a little more animated and every now again regardless if the ball was in or out she would utter, "Oh, baby girl that was good." And all of us sitting around her seemed to assume the same attitude as the Lady Blue Rays played their third match. Just so you know, I can get a little loud when I am rooting for the Lady Blue Rays (OK, louder than most) and I even found myself giving kudos to the other team. The Lady Blue Rays ended up winning all three matches and as soon as "the good sportsmanship line" was done - my mom, myself, and a few others helped her to her feet and from the stands. It was then that I officially extended my hand, said, "Hi, my name is Donna" and told her of my New Year's resolution. She excitedly told me that her name was "Sammie with an i e." "Sammie Louise." Sammie needed help getting to the front of the gym and you could tell that her knees were probably bothering her. She sat down at the front while her family went and brought the car around to the front door. And we left, I gave a big old holler good bye, "YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT SAMMIE LOUISE."

We, the Lady Blue Rays parents, have adopted Miss Sammie Louise as our rallying point. When the girls game starts to slack or they get down-hearted, we yell out, "Do it for Sammie Louise."

Sneezy, Bennie and the Jets, and Jill

The Blue Bonnets and the Red Buds are blooming as well as my allergies. Yesterday I became one of the seven dwarfs; Sneezy and I didn't stop until I went to bed. And today I became the eighth dwarf; Swollen, Drippy Eye I(the one they never let in the house)....isn't that a pretty picture. So I waited as long as possible before I ventured out to meet a stranger - I was afraid that I might scare them away. But even if I look like the eight dwarf, I have to go meet a stranger. Put on the big Jackie O sunglasses and off I go. I stopped worrying about my eye when from the radio begins...."Hey kids, shake it loose together......" Oh yeah, guessed it - Elton John singing Bennie and the Jets. And by the time I was singing, "BBBBennie" - I spotted the stranger that I wanted to meet. The only problem is that I am on a two lane road with no shoulder to pull over. Down the road, make a u-turn and head back , but this time I pull off onto a residential street. Look both ways and dart across the road and partially down the ditch (I didn't want to get hit by an oncoming vehicle). She stopped and came toward the fence and I could tell that she was perplexed that I was standing there so as she moved closer to the fence I asked, "Do you mind if I watch?" She said, "No." And with that I said, "Hi, my name is Donna..." And I was now talking with Jill was in a horse arena exercising her five year old thoroughbred horse named Remmy (short for Rembrandt). Jill was dressed in her tan breeches, black shirt, black riding boots and a whip in hand. She told me that she lived close and boarded Remmy there, but she was a little anxious as the owner of the property has it up for sale. As we were talking, Remmy was sneaking bites of sweet grass from under the fence which prompted Jill to say that Remmy acts like he is always hungry and he eats the most of all of 12 horses there. I told Jill that when my kids were smaller, they would love to go home the long way and would always say, "Let's go home the horse way." I think Remmy was eating more grass than wanted so she pulled Remmy back to the center of the arena and there I stood there for the next 10 minutes just watching them. The sun was starting sink in the afternoon sky and it was a beautiful choreographed dance between Jill and Remmy. Remmy trotted around in a circle with his beautiful chestnut mane blowing in the wind and as, if on cue, the wind caught Jill's whip and chestnut hair too. It was a perfect Texas moment that just doesn't get any better and I was so glad that I stopped. As Remmy and Jill took a break - I thanked them for letting me stop and watch; I wished them a great evening and good-bye. Back up the ditch I went; looked both ways for oncoming traffic and dashed back over to my car.

And as I pulled my car back into traffic, I see Remmy kicking up dust as he pranced around the arena and I started to sneeze. Oh great - I have turned into the hybrid dwarf, Sneezy Swollen Drippy Eye. I don't even think Walt Disney could have made this dwarf cute.

Chardonnay, Cabbage, and Carrie

The last couple of days I have been consumed with March Madness and watching my beloved Kansas State University Wildcats. I have been wearing my purple polish for my toenails, purple flip-flops, purple shirt...you get the picture...all things purple. I am Wildcat Proud that we made to the Elite Eight, but alas we lost yesterday to Butler. And now we wait for football season!!! The Cats played yesterday afternoon so I had to make sure that I got to the grocery store and back home and groceries unloaded before the game started. I love going to the grocery. I like to go up and down every aisle looking at all things high and low. It can sometimes that me two hours, but yesterday was a "shopping by the list only" adventure. The bottled water and wine share the same aisle and it was there that I met my stranger. I was loading flavored water into my cart and a mother and her little girl bounced down the aisle. The little girl said something about getting a different kind of wine and I snickered. The mom turned and said, "I guess she shouldn't probably know so much about wine." And I said, "My kids are very familiar with wine in a box. And I drink something that requires a corkscrew - they wonder if it is a special occasion." She said, "Oh thanks for saying that I need to get something with a screw-top as we will be outside." With that I knew that I had found a kindred spirit (pun intended) and I extended my hand and gave her my spiel; "Hi my name is Donna." Next thing I knew I was shaking hands with Carrie so I asked how it was spelled. She said, "C a r r i e, like Carrie Fisher and oh that's my last name too." "Oh my goodness, just like the actress?", I asked. "Yes, and I sometimes get autograph requests when people find out my last name," Carrie said. "That is too cool," I said and I go back to loading my bottle water and Carrie and her daughter select a screw-top wine. I wish them a good day as we both leave the aisle; they go right and I go left towards the dairy section for two gallons of milk. No looking at the new items in the dairy section, I am strictly shopping by the list. Off to the cereal aisle, coffee, bacon. Oh wait, is that corned beef??? I didn't have corn beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day so maybe I can get a couple of things not on the list. Added corn beef, red potatoes, and cabbage to my cart and off to the check out line I went.

Remember the bottle water that I purchased? Well, when I went out to my car to put the groceries in the car, one of the bags with water in it split. Yup, you guessed it. I am was chasing bottles of water, six to be exact rolling down the parking lot. Did I mention that on Saturday we had wind gusts up to 20 mph? So those bottles weren't just gently rolling - they were rolling at the speed of a NASCAR warm-up lap - about 70 miles an hour and different directions. I am sure I was quite a sight chasing my bottled water across and around the parking lot. Thank goodness I only had to chase six bottles - could you imagine if I had bought a 24 pack? Oh lord, I might have just called my friends in Rockwall, TX and told them to be on the look out for them rolling down Highway 66.

Dog (he's not), Dental Work, and Doc's

So let me ask you this.....Question: When is being a repeat customer a bad thing for you, but a good thing for the business? Give up?!?!? Answer: When you are a repeat customer to Doc's Bail Bonds. Doc's Bail Bonds is located in downtown Garland and since I have never been in the need of a bails bondsman - I decided I needed to check it out. So I ditty-bop in the door and glance around quickly. Sparsely decorated - two desks, some Texas-style bird houses in the window, reproduction of Starry Night on one wall, and, multiple volumes and shelves of law books. Behind the desk stands a man and I quickly maneuver over to the man standing behind one of the desks. He immediately asks, "Can I help you?" I said, "Well, I hope so." And with a wink, he says, "It depends on what you need" (A little bail bondsman humor). So with hand extended I began my spiel, "Hi, my name is Donna...." and just that quick I was shaking hands with Randy. And just as quick, Randy introduced me to Lee who was sitting behind the other desk. I learned that Doc's has two locations and the Garland office is housed in an old filling station which appears to be about 50 years old. They have been at the Garland location for about 1 1/2 years. Randy has been in the "business" for about 20 years and before he was a bail bondsman; he was on the apprehension side of the business (ooh, I bet there are some good stories there). I also learned that not everyone who is need of a bondsman is a felon or violent....according to Randy, "Some people just make stupid mistakes and some aren't even guilty." (On the last part - don't they all say that?!?!) I also learned that Doc's is not open 24 hours, but instead they work in two shift and are open about 18 hours a day, open seven days a week, and are only closed on Christmas day. Randy was very talkative and told me that in about four weeks he was going to Mexico to have some dental work done and that he would be taking the train to El Paso. There is an American doctor he will see and if he had the work done in the United States it would cost him about $10,000. In Mexico - $5,000. Randy is the first person that I have ever met who was taking a medical vacation. I told him that I would come back in about 5 weeks or so and check on him and the work that his international mouth. Did I mention that Randy was taking the train? Randy loves taking the train - he just recently went up to Chicago to meet up with some of his "Federal Agent friends" and took the train. He told me, "The train is cheaper, you can drink all you want, 5 star meals, the chairs you sit in are nicer than some beds that I have slept in and great scenery along the way." I told him that I had always wanted to travel somewhere on the train and had just never gotten around to it. Randy asked that I when I wrote my blog not "to not make bail bondsmen look like a Dog the Bounty Hunter or someone crazy. We are just normal." I told him that I make sure of that. Randy told me that he needed to get going - he was going to sign a lease on a new apartment. As Randy and I moved toward the door, a car pulled up with two gentleman inside - one young, one not so young. As the gentleman entered, Randy decided to hold back so I wished Randy good luck with his mouth, his apartment and I told both he and Lee good-bye. As the door closed I heard someone say, "It's good to see you again." I thought to myself, yikes, maybe a repeat customer. And as I got back in my car, I looked over the one the business cards I picked up and on the back of the bright yellow card there were six rules:

1. Check in by telephone every Tuesday or Wednesday between 9 am and 9 pm;

2. Notify office immediately of any changes in address, phone numbers, or employment;

3. Notify office within 10 days with name, address, phone number of my attorney;

4. Notify office before leaving the county;

5. I understand that bond jumping is punishable by up to 5 years in the penitentiary;

6. I am responsible for keeping up with my own court date.

And then this blurb: Violation of any of these rules would be just cause for a warrant to be issued for my arrest. Most of the above rules seem pretty easy and obvious, but I had no idea about rule 5.

And since I gave my word to Randy - Randy was nothing like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Randy had really short hair, black briefcase, yellow polo-type shirt, khaki pants, and not one tattoo (that I could see). Sick of Jail? Call the Doctor.

Dos Hombres (Two Men) and a Mattress Delivery

I have seen this scenario play out time and time again AND sometimes I have been guilty of it myself; talking louder to someone who doesn't speak the same language. But more about that later. I was taking the trash out last Saturday morning (yes, I was wearing lounge pants) when I heard a delivery truck turn the corner into the neighborhood. But it didn't keep going and in a split second, I thought it stopped nearby and maybe I might be able to meet a stranger. So I run through the garage, through the kitchen and toward the front door and as I dart pass Chris he asks, "Where are you going?" I said, "I think someone across the street is getting a delivery and I am going to go meet a stranger!" And as he was say, "What?" I was out the door. Looked right - no delivery truck. Look left - no delivery truck. Over to the north side of the house.....voilà....a delivery van from Mattress Land. By the time that I got to the van - a pristine white (looked to be about queen size) mattress and box springs wrapped in plastic were being unloaded from the back by two men. The gentleman closest to me had just taken out his handkerchief and was wiping his brow when I extended my hand and started my spiel, "Hi, my name is Donna..." He switched his handkerchief to his other hand and extended his hand. We were shaking hands and he was smiling, but not one word. We just kept shaking hands. Then the gentleman at the other end of the mattress finally said something,"His name is R$&+AU." Of course, I had no idea what he said so I said, "I'm sorry, what is his name?" He moves closer to me and extends his hand to shake my hand and he begins to talk really loud - almost yelling at me, "MY NAME IS ELIA AND HIS NAME IS REFUSE." Huh?? Does he think that because he said it louder and slower that I would understand what he said?? So I think to myself - his name is trash??? Well that can't be right so I slowly and loudly repeat, "REFUSE?" And Elia shakes his heads no. Again, but this time even slower and louder Elia says, "RE FU G IO." Well of course, Refugio. How did I not get that the first time?!?!?! After an awkward pause of silence, I bid them a good day and bounced back across the street to our house.

I walked in the front door and Chris asked me, "Where did you go?" I said, "I went to meet a stranger." Chris: "Dressed like that?" Donna: "Yup." Chris: "Where?" Donna: "Across the street - the people who moved into Jensen's old house was having a mattress delivered so I met the Mattress Land delivery guys." Chris: "What were their names?" Donna: "ELIA AND REFUGIO." Chris: "Why are you yelling?" Donna: "Because the Latino man, Elia, thought that if he talked slower and louder, at me, that I would understand what the other guy's name." Chris: "Did you?" Donna laughs: "Finally, but it was funny because it was the reverse of what you normally see happen. I think he thought I was stupid." Chris: "He probably wondered why you are wearing your candy striped pajamas bottoms, purple flip flops, and a brown fleece zipper jacket."

Come to think of it......I thought I heard him say, Senora es loca en la cabeza (Lady is crazy in the head) as I walked away........LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT BEFORE. (LOL)

Road Kill, Grandpa Potts, and the Shangri-Las

After I was done with carpool duty this morning, I glided into the gas station on a prayer and fumes - I have a 16 gallon tank and put in a little over 16 gallons. (And, no - I was not in my pajamas -I know that you were wondering). It was such beautiful morning and quite frankly, it turned out to be such a glorious day that I had most of the downstairs windows open all day. But back to this morning. I was done pumping gas, over to the trash can to rip my receipt up into teeny-tiny pieces (can't be too careful these days), back in my car to re-set the trip meter and then I saw him pull into the 7-11 parking lot. It was as if everything started to move in slow motion and someone cued the song by the Shangri-Las - The Leader of the Pack. Vroom. Vroom. He rode in on a shiny, black bike and you could tell that when he rode - he owned the road. I knew that I had to meet him - a mystery man who was dressed from head to toe in black leather. Black boots, black gloves, black jacket, open faced helmet with a wisp of hair peeking out. I pull my car away from the pump and drove around the backside of the pumps. Parked my car next to the "pay-for-air" pump; looked in my mirror, straightened my hair and put in a piece of gum to freshen my breath. I waited until he got off his bike and as I neared, he turned toward me and smiled (I bet he did that to all the girls).....I knew he was the right stranger to meet today. Standing face to face, he pulled up his goggles and they came to rest right above his eye brows and the clearest blue eyes were staring back at me. I extended my hand and gave him my spiel, "Hi, my name is Donna..." and he said, "My name is Fred. My friends call me Road Kill." I felt as if I didn't know him well enough to call him by his nickname so I said, "Are you heading to work today, Fred; or out for a pleasure ride?" "Actually, I am headed to the doctor's," said Fred. And I complimented him on his bike. Fred told me that it was pretty new and that "I won the money to pay for it at WinStar Casino." He continued by saying, "I have been studying which kind to get for about three years and after I won the money - I decided that I would go out and get it." I told him, "That is a great gift." And with great pride, he pointed to the Harley accessories that adorned his bike. I nodded, like biker chicks do in the movies, and said, "Nice." I knew that Fred needed to get gas and back out on the road, so I bid him "Happy Motoring", but before I turned to walk away - he asked me one more time what my name was -I gleamed back, "Donna." I got into my car and took one more glance at Fred, who was putting his wallet, that was attached to a chain, into his back pocket. I smiled. I was glad that I had not done carpool duty in my lounge pants today. OH MY GOODNESS, there is one thing that I forgot to tell you about Fred - how could I forget..................Fred was about 70 years young and he looked like Grandpa Potts (Lionel Jeffries) from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Cue the Shangri-Las...."I never forget him (the leader of the pack).

March Madness, Memphis Style-BBQ and Robert Earl Keen

I have to be honest with you - I have been remiss about updating you on strangers and I am here to re-confirm, right here and right now that I will be updating again on a daily basis. There I said it!!!

So I will start with today's stranger and work backwards until I am caught up. I had lunch with Trish today and we decided to eat BBQ at Red, Hot, and Blue. Nothing says springtime in Dallas more than good BBQ. We both went with the pulled pork sandwich - mine with potato salad; hers with a baked sweet potato and both got a side of cole slaw. I do love a "Memphis-style" pulled pork sandwich so I whipped off the top part of the bun and dumped my cole slaw right on top of the pork and smushed the top part of the bun back on and took a Paula Deen size bite of sandwich. Yumbo!!! An hour later as we finished, I surveyed the crowd for stranger. It was hard to choose....everyone in the restaurant seemed to be in a great mood. I sure it had something to do with the fact that the temperature was up in the 60's today while just yesterday we had 5 inches of snow. As Trish and I moved through the restaurant toward the back door, I spotted my stranger at the take-out counter; unwrapped a peppermint and popped it into my mouth and neared a big guy wearing a sweat jacket with a stocking cap propped on top of his head was talking to another lady at the take away counter. We waited until they had finished their conversation and I extended my hand and said, "Hi, my name is Donna".....and I continued my spiel and before I was done - I was shaking hands with Troy. I asked if he was picking an order for he and co-workers and he said, "No, just myself." And then he asked my what had for lunch and I said, "Pulled pork sandwich with potato salad and I ate it all. What did you order?" Troy told me that he had ordered, "Ribs and sausage." "Oh, I love sausage," I said. And went one step further when I pointed at myself and laughed with a "I'm kinda built like sausage. Good Polish/German blood....you have to love sausage!!" I wished Troy a great day and he extended his hand again and said, "Thank you for letting me be your stranger of the day." I shook back and said, "No, thank you." With that Trish and I were out the door, hugged each other good bye, wished each other good luck with our respective universities' goal to make it to the Final 2 of the NCAA March Madness tournament, and promised to talk to each other before the week was out.

I rolled the windows down, put on my sunglasses and turned up the radio. Yes, I was the one you saw singing and dancing in my car. A quick shout out to Robert Earl Keen who wrote a song titled "Barbeque" and with the refrain of:

Barbeque, sliced beef and bread

Ribs and sausage and a cold big red

Barbeque makes old ones feel young

Barbeque makes everybody someone

Hey Troy, Trish, and Robert Earl Keen - next time I am getting sausage and ribs!!!

Hooters, A Hair Dresser, and Shuffleboard

I was back at the A1 Sportsman Taxidermy shop, having my photo taken for the Dallas Morning News article, when a guy dropped into the shop. Steve of A1 Taxidermy fame and owner, was eating a late lunch and with a bite of BBQ in his mouth asked if he could help him. The stranger, replied, "I have always passed by here and thought I would just drop in and see what it was like inside." I looked at Steve, "Huh, just like me", I said. "Happens all the time," Steve mumbled. Well this was my invitation to meet the stranger. So with extended hand, I gave him my spiel and I met Shawn. Shawn looked a bit out of place in the shop and I asked if he had ever been hunting. He told me he had been in the Army and, "Let's put it this way - I have never shot an animal." He smiled. I paused and then shuttered. He went on to explain that he was going on his first animal hunting trip next month with some buddies. I told him, "My husband is a Marine." And he countered, "I'm sorry." Fair enough and I said, "He would probably would be offering his condolences to you." Shawn told me that he was one of the Vice-Commander's at the Mesquite American Legion which was just down and across the street. He had been over at the Legion. Later this month, the Legion was going to honor a fallen soldier from Mesquite with a plaque and a ceremony for his family. That was cool and I said so. However, Shawn didn't strike me as a solider or Vice Commander - he was dressed in 1980ish OP type shorts and hair longer than standard regulation. I asked if he was still serving and he told me, "No, I am a hairdresser now." To myself, I think.....how do you make that leap and do I really want to know? And for several minutes as I am pondering the soldier/hairdresser visual; I hear him invite Steve to come over for cheap beer. And then with a straight deadpan delivery Shawn tells us, "We sell more beer than Hooters!" and "Oh, we have shuffleboard tournaments." Picture this......had I been drinking any beverage or had snot in my nose, at this point, it would have shot out of my nostrils that would have rivaled Old Faithful; instead I tried to stifle a full belly laugh. I shot a look over to Steve and he rolled his eyes. I said, "Really?!?" and Shawn said, "You bet." He then said that we wanted to offer the Marine to "Come over anytime" so I told him that Chris was outside. I thanked Shawn for being able to meet him and he strolled out the door. Steve was the first to break the weirdness of silence, that followed as Shawn left, with a laugh and said, "That's your stranger and don't forget to mention that they sell more beer than Hooters!!!" "Oh, I will make sure I mention Hooters and I won't forget about the shuffleboard tournament," I giggled.

If you are in the area (and have served in the military) stop by the Mesquite American Legion, Post #504 and have beer. Canteen hours are Monday - Friday and Sunday, 12pm-Midnight and Saturday, 12pm - 1am. You may want to call ahead. I am sure, since they sell more beer than Hooter's - they will be busy.

Clorox Wipes, Interview, and Rice

I usually go out into the community to meet my strangers, but this stranger came to my house. I received a call from Steve Blow from The Dallas Morning News and he wanted to interview me for an article. I told him that I was flexible for a time and place - he suggested a time and then suggested that we meet at my house. Oh, ok....I quickly offered up an alternative location, "We can meet at Starbucks, if you would rather." "Oh, no...your house is on my way home so I can just stop by there and then head on home," he said. Gulp. "Perfect," I said. And the he adds, "No need to do anything special; don't get crazy and feel like you have to clean your house." And then sounding like a Disney dwarf, I said, "Ha ha, I won't." I hang up the phone and morph into Rosie, the robot maid, from The Jetsons. You know the episode where Rosie is in hyper-drive and spinning out of control until she blows a gasket and whirls herself into a metal heap. What to do first??? Caffeine. Two giant gulps of coffee. Note to self....next time, let the Chernobyl coffee cool slightly before gulping. The kitchen and breakfast nook floor looks a wreck from the recent rains and from where I have been painting the walls (yes, I know I was painting the walls this summer, but since we are going to pull up the floor - I didn't use a drop cloth). In retrospect, thank goodness I used a latex, but the floors have to be last. Touch up the downstairs bathroom, just in case. Wipe down the cabinets, pantry doors, and fridge. Unload dishwasher, load dishes. Table knife in hand, I get down on my knees (hold the laughter and jokes) and scrape up the areas of dropped paint. Hhhmmm, I don't recall "dropping" this much paint, but there I am crawling around the floor popping up paint splatters. Another note to self, knees are 48 years old - next time use a drop cloth. I looked like a panda bear all appendages extended and rolling over onto my bum so I could hoist myself up. Next mop the floor - ugh. I hate getting the mop out so I got crafty. I had Clorox wipes under the kitchen cabinet so I rubber-banded them to my Crocs (again stop laughing - they are comfortable) and I walked around the floor; changing out the wipes when they were leaving more dirt than picking up and moving on to the next section of the floor. I liken this process to the instructions on shampoo - lather, rinse, repeat.....secure, shuffle, repeat. On to vacuuming the carpets - uneventful. Light a couple candles and Febreeze the be-gibbers out of the entire downstairs. Ready for visitors...an illusion that would make David Cooperfield proud.

Door bell rings and I am shaking hands with Steve Blow. We exchange pleasantries in the foyer and we move toward the the kitchen table. The one thing that took me back was how tall he is. My husband, Chris comments to the fact and Steve says, "I get that a lot." His by-line photo doesn't really give you much so here are some the of the extras....tall and lean, wearing a blazer with jeans, trendy glasses. We sit down at the kitchen table and begin talking about my New Years' Resolution, how it came about, and the strangers that I have met so far. Then I see it. Right there in front of him; to the left of his tape recorder...... a small grain of brown rice from dinner the night before. Are you kidding me???? I thought I had wiped down the table last night and now I can not keep my eyes off this tiny piece of rice. And every time Steve asks me a questions, I answer and then my eyes dart quickly back to the rice. Similar to shampoo and floor instructions: question asked, question answered, look at rice, repeat. We finish the interview; Steve tells me that he will get with the photographer and give me a call with where to meet and the time. Again, I thank Steve and he in return thanks me. Once back in the house, I tell Chris that it didn't even feel like an interview. Huh, I guess that is a sign of a good journalist. I wonder what the article will be like?? Then I remember the piece of rice. Grab it , inspect in that little distraction, throw it in the trash. Sounds like a good set of instructions.

Buddha and a Bag of Poo

If you own an animal with long hair, you know it has begun.......shedding season. And our dog, Timmy is no different. So when it gets to the point that the vacuum cleaner cannot keep up with the mountains of hair - it is time to get the dog groomed. Off to the groomers we went for his summer do (the dog crew cut). When we picked him up, we noticed that he had a small lump on his shoulder that wasn't there last summer and since he had a tumor removed from his mouth a couple of years ago - I was concerned. I made an appointment with our vet, Dr. Gregor. You probably already know this, but finding a vet is like finding a dentist, auto mechanic, or hair stylist. Once you find one that you like - you keep them. Dr. Gregor's office is 20 miles away, but I wouldn't trust another vet with Timmy. Just like at the human doctor, we have to wait to see the vet and this is when the funny part of the visit happens. A lady comes in with her dog; a small hairy dog that wasn't memorable, unlike the big beautiful golden retriever who greeted us at the door with his owner. The small hairy dog is there to get groomed or boarded or maybe both - I couldn't really tell. The staff takes the dog back and the owner leaves, or so I thought. About three or four minutes after I thought she left, she came back in and I hear her ask if they had a trash can. One of the girls behind the desk says "yes" and picks up the trash can from under the desk and holds it up. And hair dog owner, says, "Oh, she was nervous in the car and had an accident - can you take this for me?" Staff girl hesitates and I swear I see her shutter and quickly decides this should not go in the under the desk trash can. She takes it from her and goes in the back. What do you think that she gave her to get rid of???? Yup, you guessed it....she literally handed her a sack of dog poo!!! Really?!?!?! I think to myself, "You couldn't take your dog's crap home and put it in your own trash?!?!?!" Shocked - I know that my mouth must have gaped open like a hippo coming up for air. I have never seen anyone walk into a business and ask the person behind the desk to dispose of a sack of poo. And with a slight smile, staff girl takes the sack of poo and goes through the door to the back. Hairy dog owner leaves. Oh, not so quick, she is back for round two. This time she comes back in with some loose tissues and then says, "Do you have some anti-bacterial hand sanitizer I could use?" Shonna, one of the staff ladies, slowly pulls it out with a slight scowl hands it over to hairy dog owner. Three pump of the hand sanitizer and hairy dog owner is gone. Unbelievable.

Timmy gets called into exam room 4 and I am shaking hands with and meeting Justin who, appears to be in his early 20's and, is the vet tech. They give Tim his exam and at first blush - they think it is just lipoma. In non-vet terminology, a fat deposit. But to be sure, they want to take a sample and look at it under the microscope. They take a sample of the tumor, smear the sample on the slide and take it back and put it under the microscope. Less than 15 minutes, back to give us the results.....fat deposit and we just need to watch it. Here, for a few minutes, is where I get on my soap box. Why can a vet run a test and get a result in 15 minutes and when a human goes to the doctor it takes a follow-up appointment to have a biopsy taken, another 1 week to have the results read, another three days before your doctor calls you back with the results??? This is a head scratcher for me. I understand human vs. canine, but medically aren't the disease states pretty much the same??? And if so, why does it take 10 days for humans to get their results.....grrr......one of the many unanswered questions of the universe.

So what did I learn????

1. My maternal grandmother, God rest her soul, was not so kooky when she decided to use a vet for her medical issues as well as her dogs medical issues;

2. My Buddha butt and gut are lipoma (oh, that does sound better) - not fat and;

3. You can hand someone a sack of crap and they will take it.