Moon Pies, Marooned, and the Miller Beer Man

Sing it with me, "Baby, it's cold outside." You did great, but there were a couple of you who just hummed...I saw you. So with it being brisk outside, I had decided today that I would meet the mailman. I figured, I would listen for him and then just bee bop outside, grab the mail, introduce myself and run back inside, write my blog. So all morning I listened for him. Similar to waiting for the ice cream man in the summer time when I was a kid. You know, you think that you hear his bell so you go running to the window, look both ways and wonder....where the heck is he? The same happened with the mailman.....I would think that I heard him and I would run to the front windows and realize it was the Fed-Ex man across the street, or the UPS man turning the corner or the Rooms to Go truck. Hhhmmm, this is like trying to catch a snipe on a hot summer evening at Tuttle Creek (a little shout out to the Little Apple). And then as if angels descended, I heard the mailman. But you trying to run with your jeans daintily draped between your knees and ankles. YES - you guessed....I was in the bathroom. And by the time I got to the door, he turned the corner. Grrrrr....on to Plan B.

I would have to get in my car and go meet a stranger today. YES, YES, YES - I know that was the whole purpose of the new years resolution, but it was chilly outside....in other words, whah, whah, whah. At the stoplight, I notice that the Miller Beer truck is at the 7-11 so I decide right there, right now that I am going to meet the Miller Beer man. Quick turn and I pull into the parking lot. Pop inside and survey all that the 7-11 has to offer. Chips, oil, vinegar, hot dogs and then I spied the most delectable, horrible for you, best road trip food ever created.....THE CHOCOLATE MOON PIE. I purchase 4 to take home. The Miller Beer Man is stacking crates on his dolly and with moon pie purchase in hand - I saunter over. Give him my spiel.... "Hi, my name is Donna......" And he just looks at me and nods. So I say, "Hi, my name is Donna" and I extend my hand. He, again, just smiles and l looks at me. Did he not speak English???? So this time, I say "I am Donna, what is your name Miller Beer Man?" As if it finally registered, he said, "My name is Darren." Okey Dokey then. Head as thick as his forearm and it was just cold enough that I didn't really care if he liked his job. So I unlocked my car, key in the ignition and absolutely nothing. Zero, Zip, Nada. Really?!?!?!

Once I say my goodbyes to my new found stranger, I just want to get in my car and leave. And right now, I was going nowhere. My car had no power. So I tired the ignition a couple more times...same silence. CRAP....I got here - I should be able to get home. Problem must be under the hood. So in a brief second of brilliance, I decide to pull off my coat and pull my hair up - you know to change my appearance and maybe Darren, the Miller Beer Man, would think I was someone else and not notice that I was still here. The last thing I really want is to have a lengthy conversation. I get out of my car, go around the back to get to the front, lift the hood and it appears that the "green" side of the battery cable has come loose so I wiggle it back on. Back around the back of the car and unnoticed. Again nothing. Once again, back outside, go around the back of the car, lift the hood and pound the crap of the battery cable and then I hear it. "Hey, Donna - do you need help???" And I stop dead in my tracks. Yup, Darren the Miller Beer Man spots me and was not fooled by my no coat and hair pulled up disguise. I waved gingerly like I mean to be standing right there in the parking lot and chuckled like a pro and said, "Oh, no I got it - just a loose cable." Hood down, go around the front of my car - get in and start praying "please start, please start, please start." I didn't even lift my head when I tried the ignition again. VROOM.....SUCCESS. "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you," I mouth to the top of my car.

As I backed out of my parking spot, I was pleasantly surprised that Darren, the Miller Beer Man had climbed into the back of his truck for another load....whew....I pressed a little heavier on the gas and zoomed out of there.

I am just thinking out loud. Do you think, if I had put on my sunglasses maybe Darren wouldn't have noticed me, two spots over with the hood up on my car??? Hhhmmm, I am not sure either. But just in case, I am putting my pink wig in my car.