Tweens, Bra Size and a Spork

I am about ready to pull my hair out.......I have three girl tweens in my house right now. And in normal tween style....they are playing the game of "one-upping" right now........I am better at this, I made this, I work out longer than you, I eat better than you, my space on MySpace is better than yours, I have better music on my phone than you do.....OMG!!!! When I was growing up the only thing that I remembering "one-upping" was in maybe my bra size.....maybe?!?!?! I don't know you would have to ask my friend Tina to be sure. I am sorry that I am having to listen to this as it makes me want to spork my brain out and it makes me sad that all of these things are things that they care about. OMG like IDK......I am trying to watching the Sotomayer hearings and they are debating who has had a membership longer at Life Time Fitness...really?!?!?!? Are these things that really matter to them.......my dog licks people more than your dog......I don't remember ever caring about stuff like this........or even pausing to ponder such drivel.

I may have morphed into my parents.......I can hear my dad, "What are those rum-dumbs up to now?" I remember that our house was the house where all the kids hung out, but it never even dawned on me that at some point my parents probably wished that they could just hang out quietly by themselves. And yet my parents very rarely kicked us all out. Why?!?!?!

If my parents could handle it, why am I quietly calculating how to kick them outside, change the locks on the doors, and dig a moat around the house and fill it with alligators before they can make it around the block??? If I had super powers - I could do it....no really, I think I could. What???? Have you never had those thoughts.......instead I take another sip of warm tea, inhale, exhale, and clear my brain of super power thoughts. I repeat....."I am stronger than this, I am stronger than this......"

So with the power that my parents possessed, I keep repeating how grateful I am that I know where they are and I don't have to worry about their whereabouts and actions. Now if I can just remember where I put my silver-plated spork.......maybe it is in the garage with the power tools and my emergency stock of alligators.